Is there a way to manage fear and anxiety ? In toxic competitiveness ? Like FOMO, FOMU, FOBO …. I asked …Yes ! She said

Found an answer in a sharing by a vedantic co-learner Avanti Kundalia. She casually read the quote by Edward Carpenter. “Never before could I have believed it but I see it all now. There is no happiness unless you have clean dropped thinking about yourself; but you must not do it by halves. While even there is a least grain of self left, it will spoil it all. You must just leave it all behind and vouchsafe the personality and mind that much sympathy as to any stranger, no more, no less.”

The quote suggests that true happiness is found only when one completely abandons self-centered thought and extends the same compassion and consideration to others as they would to themselves.

Here’s a breakdown of its meaning:

“Never before could I have believed it but I see it all now. There is no happiness unless you have clean dropped thinking about yourself;” This highlights a profound realization – that the pursuit of self-interest ultimately hinders genuine happiness. Authentic joy requires a complete detachment from constant self-reflection and personal desires.
“but you must not do it by halves. While even there is a least grain of self left, it will spoil it all.” This emphasizes the need for complete and unwavering selflessness. Any lingering attachment to ego or personal gain will prevent the experience of true happiness.
“You must just leave it all behind and vouchsafe the personality and mind that much sympathy as to any stranger, no more, no less.” To achieve this state, one must transcend their ego and treat others, even strangers, with the same level of empathy, understanding, and care they would typically reserve for themselves. This implies a radical shift in perspective towards universal compassion and interconnectedness.

We spend so much of life thinking about ourselves — our problems, our image, our success, our pain. But the more we do that, the less happy we become.

True happiness comes when we stop obsessing over “me” and “mine.” But it only works if we do it fully. If even a small part of us still clings to ego — comparing, competing, craving validation — it spoils the peace.

The way forward is to treat our own thoughts, moods, and personality just like we would treat a stranger: with a little kindness, but without over-attachment. No special treatment, no drama. When we can see ourself this way, life gets lighter. We’re free to live, love, and act without being weighed down by constant self-concern.

✨ In short: Happiness isn’t about fixing ourself or thinking better of ourself — it’s about thinking of ourself a little less.
It comes from a quieter place: being present, doing what matters to you, and letting go of the noise. Ground in something bigger: our breath, the sky above, or someone we can serve in that moment. So maybe the acronym we really need is: ✨ LIFE – Living In Full Essence.

What would it look like if you lived beyond FOMO and FOBO, and leaned into LIFE instead?

Credit : This thought was sharpened with the help of ChatGPT.